Stephen Humphries

The Blog Rat is part of my split personality of student journalist Stephen Humphries.

Reading these rants can bring comedy to lifes little niggles.

These rants are mostly one sided and make rediculous generlisations of people and life.

The majority of posts are revolved around Stephen's part-time supermarket job, where he works as a cashier on a cigerette kiosk.

Be prepared for some ill punctuation and the occasional spelling error.

Enjoy

@Steph3n_H

steph3nhumphries.blogspot.com
steph3nhhumphries.com

Thursday 20 September 2012

A serious low point

TODAY marked a serious low moment in my supermarket life. I began serving customers at 9 o'clock and by 5 past 9 my checkout was closed by a supervisor who told me that I needed to shave.

The closed sign was placed at the end of my till and I had to ask a second time, "Sorry, where am I going?" my supervisor replied, "You're going to have a shave, the store manager has said."

Mortified

Recently, I've only been shaving once or twice a week, Sophie likes the look and I have been warming to it too. So I approached the supervisor's desk and asked if I was to go home? My supervisor replied, "no, just to the back," referring to the back of the store where the staff area is.

I wouldn't so much mind if I wasn't working in a store full of absolute tramps. Some of which haven't shaved for months on end, I imagine.

I then had to go to the personnel department, where there was no-one around to 'instruct' me, as I wasn't once asked with any respect, to shave. A member of personnel was called over the tanoy twice, and called via the phone, and asked to give me "something to shave my face." The stubble wasn't even that bad.

After being given a razor, I then had to stand in the men's toilet and shave with the cheap soap that I wouldn't wash my dog with, while others walked in and out. It was truly one of the lowest moments in my supermarket life.

A friend of mine said: "you took that completely laying down, didn't you?" as I'm usually known for standing up for myself and retaliating, which this time I didn't.

Another customer who heard about the incident said: "I think it's disgusting you were asked to shave, have they seen the state of them two working on the customer service desk right now, you're such a good worker."

Unfortuately, my face, shaven or unshaven, doesn't fit and I'm so f**king thankful it doesn't too.

I think I took this so well, because I've done all the anger and rage in the past and it only makes me feel worse. I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel that, for me, supermarket life will soon be a distant memory.

When I returned to my till, after considering walking out of the overtime shift, I sat and wrote a list of all those within the shop that look a mess, including one woman, who has a good twenty, 2cm length, hairs growing from her chin. Will she have to shave too? I very much doubt it.




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